Show an Emotion Without Naming It

Have you ever written a sentence and realized you were telling readers what a character felt instead of showing them?

I have!

One of the things I continue to work on as a writer is show, don't tell. It's easy to write that a character was angry, frightened, jealous, or surprised. But how do you help readers experience that emotion for themselves without simply naming it?

Sometimes, you have to get creative.

A Lesson I Learned While Writing The Inheritance

When I was writing The Inheritance, I described a character as looking incredulous. I knew that was telling rather than showing, and I wanted to do better. But that left me with a question: What does an incredulous expression actually look like?

Instead of guessing, I went to the mirror.

First, I imagined a parent discovering their child is lying to them. What would that parent's face look like? I raised one eyebrow and tighted my lips into a relaxed pucker and studied my reflection.

Then I imagined an adult lying to me. My reaction was different. My eyelids drooped in a heavy lidded way as I peered at my reflection with suspicion.

I practiced a few more faces, but you get the idea. That simple exercise helped me figure out how to describe the expression I wanted. Instead of telling readers the character looked incredulous, I could show the raised eyebrow, narrowed gaze, or other subtle changes in the character's face.

The experience reminded me that sometimes the best way to describe an emotion is to observe how we physically respond to it ourselves.

Today's Pumping Your Muse Prompt

Choose an emotion and show it without naming it.

Pick one of these emotions, or choose one of your own:

• Jealousy: Your character watches someone receive something they've always wanted.

• Grief: Your character encounters an everyday object that belonged to someone they lost.

• Excitement: Your character is waiting for news that could change their life.

• Fear: Your character hears a sound coming from somewhere it shouldn't.

• Disbelief: Your character has just heard something they find almost impossible to accept.

Now write a short scene that conveys the emotion without using its name.

Avoid relying on familiar phrases such as her heart raced, he felt a wave of fear, or she was overcome with jealousy. Instead, think about what the character's face, hands, posture, voice, and movements might reveal.

Does your character avoid eye contact? Clench their jaw? Fidget with a button? Go unusually still? Perhaps they smile when they don't mean to, or speak too quickly and then fall silent.

And don't forget that emotions can be complicated. Someone who is frightened might laugh nervously. A grieving character might become irritated over something trivial. A jealous person might offer congratulations while their fingers tighten around a glass.

Your challenge is to make readers recognize the emotion without naming it for them.

A Little Extra Practice

Try acting out the expression in front of a mirror, as I did while writing The Inheritance. What happens to your eyebrows? Your mouth? Your eyes? Does your posture change?

You might be surprised by the details you discover.

Save your favorite sentences in your story starters file. The next time you find yourself telling readers how a character feels, you'll have a few more ways to show them instead.

Happy writing!

The 20-Minute Writing Challenge

Sometimes, the hardest part of writing is finding the time to do it. I know because I've been there!

When I first started setting goals for my writing, I didn't feel like I had time to write. Life was busy, and finding large blocks of uninterrupted time seemed impossible. So I set a simple goal for myself: write for 20 minutes, three times a week.

That was it. Twenty minutes, three times a week. It didn't sound like much, but it gave me a starting point. Instead of waiting until I had a whole afternoon free, I made writing a small, manageable part of my week. That goal helped set me on the writing path I'm still following today.

 

Pumping Your Muse Writing Prompt 

Recently, I've returned to the same idea as I've worked on a battle scene for Rise of the Variel, Dragon's Oath Book 4. I was stuck. Dragging my feet. Sometimes a scene feels overwhelming when I look at everything that needs to happen. 

I couldn't put it off. I needed to get this fighting scene drafted. Breaking the work into smaller sessions helped me focus on the next step instead of the entire mountain ahead. I returned to my roots and tackled the battle scene in 20 minutes incraments. And it worked!

I'm hoping to have the first draft of Rise of the Variel finished by the end of the year, so those focused writing sessions matter!

Here's how you can try it for yourself.

1. Choose one task.

Don't worry about finishing an entire chapter or solving every problem in your story. Pick one manageable thing. You might write a conversation, describe a setting, work out what happens next in a scene, or simply get a few paragraphs onto the page.

2. Set a timer for 20 minutes.

You can use a Pomodoro timer to keep track of your session. The traditional Pomodoro Technique uses 25-minute work periods, but 20 minutes is a perfectly reasonable place to start. The important thing is to choose a goal that feels achievable.

3. Write until the timer goes off.

For those 20 minutes, focus on your chosen task. Put distractions aside, resist the urge to edit every sentence, and give yourself permission to write imperfectly. If you get stuck, jot down a note or add a comment in the text about what you want to happen next and keep going.

4. Celebrate the progress.

When the timer rings, look at what you've accomplished. You may have written more than you expected. If you're in the middle of a productive stretch, keep going (if you have the time). If you need a break, take one!

Remember, the goal isn't to produce perfect prose in 20 minutes. It's to make progress, one small step at a time.

Bonus Challenge

Set a goal to write for 20 minutes, three times this week. Don't worry about how many words you produce. Just show up, work on your project, and see what happens. Small steps can take you farther than you think!

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Whether you're a new writer or a seasoned storyteller, there's always room to grow. Pumping Your Muse Writing Prompts offers creative challenges to spark your imagination, strengthen your writing skills, and help you discover new ways to bring your stories to life.

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Lost Baseball Writing Prompt

On my morning walk, I spotted a baseball sitting precariously in the brush over drainage water from a culvert that ran beneath the street. I wondered who owned the ball and how it got there. I walked by in the afternoon and it was still there. Would it be retrieved by the owner or found by another child. All kinds of possible storylines ran through my mind and I wondered if the story of the 1993 Sandlot film came about with such a simple find.

I decided to take a picture and make this a writer's prompt for all of you. If you'd like, take a look at the picture at let your imagination take on the journey of discovery of the story within. If you need a little prompting, here is today's writing prompt.

Today's writing prompt

Write a story about a weathered baseball wedged in the thin branches overhanging over water. The ball, seemingly abandoned and forgotten, becomes a symbol of hope and connection for two children from different backgrounds who stumble upon it. As they collaborate to retrieve the ball, they embark on a journey that transcends their differences, teaching them about teamwork, empathy, and the unexpected bonds that form in unlikely places.

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Pattern prompt for creating a superhero

Elements of making your own superhero can be boiled down to a pattern. The fun thing about this pattern for creating a superhero is that it leaves room for originality and unpredictability. To help you see what I mean, think of s film or book in which a superhero was born. For this post, let’s use Spiderman (a.k.a. Peter Parker) as an example.

 

The story opens on a “normal” day in the life of student/jr. reporter Peter Parker, but then he is bitten by a radioactive spider. But those three elements are not the spark that creates Spiderman. It’s tragedy. He loses his Uncle Ben. In the original Marvel Comic version, Ben was killed by a villain known as The Burglar. This part of the story has transformed and been reimagined in a multiplicity of Spiderman renderings, but each version holds one thing in common. Peter feels guilty and responsible. It motivates him to help others and to try to do the right thing.

4 Point pattern for creating a superhero

•  Normal day/Ordinary character

• An event
• Tragic backstory that sparks the birth
• Stand for something

 

Now that you see this four-point pattern, think of other superheroes. Superman: Normal Kryptonian baby boy (Krypton has a red sun). His parents love him but his planet is doomed. The “event” -- they send him to Earth and the planet Krypton explodes. Later details suggested that under Earth’s yellow sun his Kryptonian cells absorb solar energy giving him superhuman powers. But such details were not in the original 1939 Superman #1. In fact, details were scant. Clark was initially turned over to an “orphan asylum” and adopted. His super-human strength is revealed, but all these details have many versions. The same hold true for his tragic backstory which most often is tied to the death of his earthly parent(s). What did he stand for? That too, has evolved. The current motto is “truth, justice, and a better tomorrow.”

 

In the "normal" aspect of life, we introduce the character and develop them enough for readers to get to know them. We see them bullied, lonely, hurt, emotionally struggling, etc. This aspect should be something readers can relate to. It makes the story hit closer to home.

The "event" changes some aspect of that normal life, and "backstory" works as a springboard that ushers in a superpower of some sort. How it is used will depend on the superhero’s ethics. Like Superman had a rule to never use his power to kill. Spiderman had the same rule when taking down his enemies until another personal tragedy hit him. But that is another story which shows that there is room in this pattern for characters to evolve and keep things unpredictable.

 

Today’s writing prompt:

Use the four-point Superhero pattern to create a superhero and then write a scene to introduce them.

 

1. Show a normal day/ordinary character. This will give an idea to what they do, who they know, and their relationships.
2. An event (self-explanatory). This may be something big, like some type of trauma that makes them lose their memory and wake up as “someone else.” Or, like Spiderman, it can be something almost imperceptible like a spider bite.
3. Tragic backstory that sparks the birth (motivation) to use their newly acquired power. Often this has to do with loss of family but it’s up to you. It’s your superhero.
4. Stand for something. (What makes them a hero?)

 

Have fun and happy writing.

 

Setting description writing prompt - How much is enough?

In writing, setting refers to place or surroundings. In this environment, something is positioned or takes place. The writer’s challenge is to show that to the reader in a vivid manner with a goal to draw them into the scene in a way that lets them know where they are or the location of an object. 

For instance, a cozy waterfront cottage provides a setting, but as a standalone phrase "cozy waterfront cottage" lacks details that help the reader imagine where they are. What exactly does cozy mean in this case? If we add details like:

• it is raining
• the roof leaks
• character staring out at the gray ocean pouring a glass of wine

It starts to set the scene.

In contrast, if the person stares at calm azure waters lapping the shore and fingering toward the high tide mark, it establishes a different setting. So the cottage may be the same cottage, but the surroundings have changed.

No matter your genre, when creating setting, the goal is to offer details that matter. You want to avoid paragraphs of descriptive minutia that don’t matter. For instance, you don’t need to describe all the cottage furnishings only the ones that are significant. There has to be a point, a reason, for why you offer the information. Filling the page with details that don’t matter becomes boring. Saying the well-worn L-shaped sectional sofa with a storage ottoman takes up one wall, with the L partially blocking the sliders leading out to the lanai, creates a sense of place. It says this place may need updating. That it is not spacious, but the view beyond makes it worth it. Or it may be a disappointment. There is potential for both and more defining to make it clear.

Paragraphs of superfluous description makes readers skip to what is significant. So, if a relevant detail is couched within boring description, chances are the reader will miss it. For instance, they might not notice a squeaky stair on the way up to the bedrooms, if buried in non-relevant description. Strive to embed particulars that are key without falling into the trap of over-description.

 

2 common reasons writers over describe

I can think of two reasons writers over describe.

1. The first is that they think the reader won’t get it. However, when you keep making the same point over and over, you are treating the reader like they are stupid. OR You think your writing isn’t good enough to make things clear. One of my current reads gives the same information in different ways as if for the first time. The first time, I wondered if the author had forgotten that he had already included that discovery but after the third time, I realized he was trying to ensure his reader didn't miss it.
2. The second reason is that a writer loves everything about the story so much that they bring it up frequently. For instance, if the main character has a taste for expensive things, the author may want to describe every costly item in the story to show how much the character knows. Except if there is too much, the reader will not care what they know. Too much description or repetitive description can bog down the imagination. Just like we don't need to be told about the characters green eyes or freckles or ruddy cheeks every time they are mentioned. Strive to offer enough detail but not so much that the reader skips over something that advances the plot or helps to understand the character or story.
   

Learning to refine descriptions

Feel free to write your first draft without worrying about over describing. Once you have your draft, the first step in learning to refine your descriptions is to admit to yourself that they probably need refining. It can help to read your writing aloud or have your computer read it. Listen to the rhythm within the overall flow of the story. Question your detail choices. Do they move the story forward in any way? If you belong to a writing group, do this exercise together and then ask each other to point out where your descriptions grow boring or repetitive and where they are goo and why.

Today’s Writing Prompt: Setting descriptions

Today’s writing prompt is a practice in description when crafting setting. Your goal is to write prose that links to the reader's imagination. Along with sight, include sensory info like touch, hearing, and taste, like salt air. HOWEVER, feel free to overwrite the scene for the first draft. Let the descriptions flow. Once written, pare it down. This process can help you find the best descriptors.

For this prompt, select one of the photos below and create a setting based on it. Feel free to embellish and expand it. (You don’t have to stay in the exact spot shown in the photo, but it should be a starting or landing point. Write 500 to 1000 words. When you finish, take a closer look at your description. Is there enough? Too much? Practicing this approach will nudge some writers to add more detail and others less. Your goal is to seek to find the perfect balance.